Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
