No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
