All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
How's work?
Spinning.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
