..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
At least life still wants to fuck me.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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