dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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