Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
