May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Randomize