Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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