He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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