Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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