i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
