He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
