OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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