Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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