I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
