is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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