Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
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