i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
