Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize