Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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