I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize