I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Are we still banned from the library?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Randomize
