U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
