Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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