How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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