He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
