the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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