Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I believe in your delicious
Randomize
