walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
