Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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