Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
When did angry sex become our thing?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Randomize
