How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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