I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
