so explain again why im purple
no
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
