nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Randomize
