Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
