thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
