I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
