Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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