I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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