): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
