You really coming over, don't trick.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
