You just made me feel so damn special
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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