whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
