I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize