know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
