she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Randomize
