ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
