I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
