Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
me + whiskey = a bad person
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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