so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
