Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
