i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
