I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
