Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
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