You really coming over, don't trick.
I wish I could punch you in the face.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
her facebook's as public as her vagina
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Randomize
