Barsexuality is the new black.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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